Friday, January 11, 2008

Shogun Assassin - Decapitation

Fly Kurando my boy! Fly to glory!

19 Injured in Macau-Hong Kong Hydrofoil Crash

MACAU, China, Jan. 11 (AP) -- Two hydrofoils ferrying passengers between Hong Kong and Macau collided today, injuring 19 seriously. No buses plunged during this incident.

The full article can be read here.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Mediadump Endorses Yellow Dog For Democratic Nominee

Mediadump has before it a confounding array of choices for the Democratic Nominee for the American Presidency and has purposefully waited until today to make its formal endorsement. Being an upstanding member of the media, Mediadump has carefully analyzed all the relevant materials required to make its decision, including the relevant poll information, dollars raised, television ads aired, and plugs from establishment media douchebags. However, no matter how deeply the important, substantive information (namely the popular opinion of the MSM) is examined, Mediadump finds it impossible to determine which bandwagon has the sufficient electoral "momentum" rendering it worthy enough for Mediadump to jump on. Hillary was looking so promising until her obsessively canned and micromanaged style torched her campaign in Iowa. Obama was doing so well until he had to enter into his unholy alliance with Edwards, causing Hillary to cry and become sympathetically human. With the first two major "primary" contests over, we at Mediadump are now thoroughly incensed by both campaigns for not having this thing wrapped up and done with so that we can focus on more substantive issues like Mitt Romney's haircut and Chuck Norris's incandescently white teeth! Now we have to pay attention until Super Tuesday when states that actually matter will now have a say on the nomination. Talk about committing violence against the democratic process.

So, to protest this development, to our chagrin, Mediadump must endorse Yellow Dog.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Shane Macgowan live

Eloquent political protest.

Presidential Analogy of the Day: A Game of Risk

Being a fastidious student of the Internet, I have noticed a lot of analogies being made about the presidential election. Recently, over at Slate, Daniel Gross analogizes presidential elections to stocks. This is my little contribution: Democratic candidates as Risk Strategies.

Hillaryland is clearly playing the Eurasian strategy. She is kicking ass right now, with Europe firmly in her control and her armies rolling a swath of destruction through Central Asia. She is incredibly well financed, milking the five extra armies she's getting and cashing in her Risk cards to set up a national campaign to bring home the nomination on Super Tuesday. However, as is often the case, she has overextended herself, and though she is dominating the board, she has too many border territories to defend.

ObamaWorld on the other hand, has clearly staked out a firm spot in South America, making some headway in Africa, nibbling away at Hillary's North African territories, but spending most of his time advancing up north into uncontested North America, a territory where one can dream big, and bring in new voters without having to be too aggressive or spend too many resources in being negative.

Edwardszone, on the other hand, is on the ropes, reduced to Australia, with the Hillary Machine bearing down from Siam; nonetheless Edwardszone gamely attempts to hold onto Indonesia by relying on his solid base of angry, agrarian populism. He doesn't have nearly as many resources as Hillaryland or ObamaWorld, but he is reserving his forces for a big push into Asia once Hillaryland is weakened by her current attacks on ObamaWorld.

The New Hampshire primaries clearly represents all that makes Risk the greatest game of strategic world conquest and most effective means to sever lifelong friendships: the doubleteam. This is clearly represented by Edwardszone current unspoken alliance with ObamaWorld to obliterate Hillaryland by depicting themselves as agents of change while Hillaryland represents the forces of the "Status Quo." Hillaryland, desperate to weaken ObamaWorld, tries to bait Edwardszone to do his dirty work for her -- but it won't work, because Edwardszone knows that if Siam doesn't fall, he'll be spending the rest of his life in East Australia litigating traffic tickets.

Now, does this analogy illuminate anything profound about the Primary? No. But it does allow me to show what happens when you doubleteam someone in Risk: she cries.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

General, Would You Care To Step Outside?

Come to me son of Jor El. KNEEL Before Zod!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Bus Flips; Several Injured

GREENSBORO, N.C. (AP) -- A bus flipped over and landed upright Monday morning. The crash occurred several miles south of here, injuring six students and the driver. Guildford County School Officials claim the bus driver drove off the road, over-corrected, and crossed the center line of the road, causing the bus to flip prior to it landing upright.

The full article is here.

For an explanation of the prevalence of "Bus Plunge" stories on this blog, click here.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

NFL Draf 2007

In celebration of the NFL Draft tomorrow, the most exciting event in American football, here is a montage of the most egregious draft blunders of the 20th Century (coincidentally, all of which were made by the New York Jets). Even if you don't like football or have no idea who these guys are, it is still amusing to see the unvarnished misery and despair of Jets fans as they watch their team get flushed down the toilet with idiotic picks. (not only did the Jets pass on Dan Marino, but also Warren Sapp).

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Manny Ramirez Auctions Grill On E-Bay

Manny Ramirez, not content with his current $18 million a year salary, has placed a JENN-Air grill up for auction on E-Bay. The text of his auction states the following:

Hi, I`m Manny Ramirez. I bought this AMAZING grill for about $4,000 and I used it once... But I never have the time to use it because I am always on the road. I would love to sell it and you will get an autographed ball signed by me =] Enjoy it, Manny Ramirez.

Currently, the latest bid is at $99,999,999.99. For some reason, I imagine E-Bay will have to do some housekeeping soon to determine the authentic bids from the fraudulent ones.

To see the bid, and Manny Ramirez posing next to his grill, click here.